Kicking the Habit
Still sick, coughing, shivering, sweating, miserable. One good thing has come out of this, though. I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and there’s one thing I know I can (and should) do to make things better.
I am quitting my terrible smoking habit.
Potential embarrassment and shame about failure will be a further incentive, so I’m announcing here there and everywhere.
I’ve got a quit date – next Wednesday April 15th. I took my first Chantix pill last night. and it takes about a week to kick in – and my birthday isn’t a bad day to quit. I (really, desperately) hope it helps me get through the initial stages of withdrawal.
I’ve got a list of various warning signs, and another list of helpful tips – and I’m trying to adjust my psychology between now and then. I’m not going to do any nicotine replacement, because for me that would just prolong the misery.
I’ve been thinking seriously about quitting for a while now, but I just haven’t had the will. Everything came together this time, and it feels like a good time to do it.
I want to feel better, have more energy, and get that smell off of me. I want to get my father’s flat hopeless look out of my eyes. I want to be free of this addiction.
I’m also sick of the snarky comments, and the increasing class distinction – although to be honest, that’s just one more stupid reason that I’ve kept smoking, in defiance and rebellion. Well, gotta transcend that too.
John seems a bit apprehensive, as well he should be. The last time I tried this, it didn’t go very well. I know he really wants me to quit, though, and he’ll be very happy to see me do it – once it’s done.
My posts for a bit may just chronicle this particular journey. Maybe it won’t be a big deal. Maybe I’ll be a little crazy. I’m not sure. Even if things are a bit unstable for a couple of weeks, it will be worth it to get to the other side. I’ve got a lot of support for this, and I hope that my family, friends and co-workers will cut me a little slack if I act a little bit uncharacteristically here and there. I’m a little worried about that aspect of things; it’s one of the reasons I’ve put this off. Ideally, I would be shuttled off to some cabin miles from anywhere for the first two weeks, but that’s never going to happen – and waiting for the perfect opportunity to quit has meant that I haven’t quit. There’s never going to be the perfect time.
By Ben’s birthday – one month after mine – he’ll have a totally smoke-free and recovered Mommy wishing him a happy birthday, and she won’t have a lighter handy for the nine candles on his cake.
There is one thing that I truly enjoy about smoking. The controlled breathing of smoke in and out of me always made me feel a bit like a dragon, the keeper of the flame, the mistress of the wind. I’ll miss that more than anything else.
7 thoughts on “Kicking the Habit”
Heidi,
Some random thoughts, having quit several times:
1. Serious physical withdrawal symptoms only last about 72 hours and, in my experience, mostly consist of fuzzy-headedness and irritibility.
2. My experience with nicotine replacement suggests you’ve made the right choice.
3. Serious cravings last a bit longer than the physical symptoms, but not as long as you’d think. And, perhaps more importantly, the cravings themselves are very strictly time limited (a few minutes) and decrease in frequency quite rapidly. Watching them come and go, in addition to being meditative, is actually quite interesting.
4. Quiting smoking is *not* something that gets easier with practice. Get it right the first time.
5. It sounds corny, but pantomiming the act of smoking (and actually breathing in between your fingers as if there was a cigarette there) helps. G-d knows why.
6. You may find quite quickly that you start to find the smell of smoke distasteful, which was unexpected for me because I grew up around cigarettes and had no previous negative feelings about the smell of smoke.
7. Breathing oxygen is a good thing.
8. You’re likely to notice yourself sleeping better almost immediately.
Heidi,
I have never been a smoker, but I have a close friend who is. I would never push, urge, or force her to quit (I couldn’t if I tried) but I am 100% in support of and very proud of anyone who does! You are super brave–particularly announcing your goal publicly. I will NOT get tired of reading any posts you write about your efforts. I promise. Anything that helps. You go, girl! Bravo!
Patricia´s last blog post – Bunnies, Poms, and Zombie Chickens
The price is too high, and the consequences are too great; I am still grieving deeply for the mom I lost, and the grandma my children are going to only remember fuzzily, if at all. Nothing, in my estimation, is worth what mom went through the last year she was alive. And I’m tired of going to funerals for people who ought to be alive.
JollyRoger´s last blog post – It Isn’t About Religion; It’s About Bigotry
Making the plunge myself. It’s considered very professionally unbecoming for paramedics. And, I thought this document from my Medic textbook would give you a calendar of “non-smoking treats” to look forward to, share it freely:
Body Changes When You Stop Smoking
Within 20 Minutes of Your Last Cigarette
Pulse and blood pressure drop to normal.
Body temperature of hands and feet increases to normal.
Within 8 Hours of Your Last Cigarette
Carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal.
Oxygen level in blood increases to normal.
Within 24 Hours of Your Last Cigarette
Chance of heart attack decreases.
Within 48 Hours of Your Last Cigarette
Nerve endings begin to regenerate.
Ability to smell and taste is enhanced.
Within 72 Hours of Your Last Cigarette
Bronchial tubes relax, making breathing easier.
Lung capacity increases.
Within 2 Weeks to 3 Months after Your Last Cigarette
Circulation improves.
Walking becomes easier.
Lung function increases up to 30%.
Within 1 to 9 Months after Your Last Cigarette
Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath decrease.
Cilia regrow in lungs, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce infection.
Within 5 Years of Your Last Cigarette
Lung cancer death rate for the average smoker (one pack per day) decreases.
Within 10 Years of Your Last Cigarette
Lung cancer death rate drops to 12 deaths per 100,000—almost the rate of nonsmokers.
Precancerous cells are replaced.
Risk for other cancers—such as those of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas—decreases (20 chemicals in tobacco smoke cause cancer).
(Sanders, Mick J.. Mosby’s Paramedic Textbook, 3rd Edition. C.V. Mosby, 072006. 2.3.2.4.1).
I’m ROOTING for you, Vi!
Todd Hellskitchen´s last blog post – Spring Break: Out of the Gate
Thanks for all the support. It makes a big difference to me. {{{hugs}}}
Good for you! I’ll be available for words of encouragement should they be needed.