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Gratitude and Appreciation

Gratitude and Appreciation

The bittersweet wistfulness of late fall is a good time to reflect, appreciate, and be grateful. It is connected with the traditions of harvest, the feel and smell of autumn, the awareness that cold winter is approaching. All the senses come alive with foggy mornings, trees baring their arms, the last warm moonlit nights, the cessation of summer’s buoyancy.

Thanksgiving is also associated, for me, with a break from routine – the first trip home from college, the warm hospitality of kin, reunions with friends. It’s less hectic than Christmas, and not so cold that a profusion of light is needed (although a fire is very lovely).

This year, we’ve all been pretty sick, and we aren’t going anywhere. It’s a low-key day, a relaxing one. I’ve got some chores to do, but everything is simple and sweet. All is prepared for the meal, and it isn’t a huge feast. I like it.

It’s a great year to withdraw a little, to allow my mind to wander, and to celebrate my own little family. It’s a good time for introspection and introversion. I would not be good company in a group this year. I’m grateful that there is no sacrifice to be made, no atonement, no resolution, no gift-wrapping, no grand plan. There will be no arguments, no whining, no politics, no religion, no nationalism, no pointless squabble, no rehashing of disputed histories, no need for diplomacy, no call for forgiveness, no heaviness, no superficiality, no football game to watch. I don’t need to walk on eggshells.

I’m grateful – to the core – for my dear family.

I’m especially grateful that it is so very easy to be proud of my delightful son, and so rewarding to be his mom. I never thought it would be something that suited me, but I was so wrong.

I’m grateful for my kind and smart and understanding (and big and strong) husband. I’m grateful for my daily life: for the welcome-home hug, for the coffee, for dinner that is often served to me, and for the occasional walk in the woods. I’m grateful – really – for intelligent conversations and also for silliness, and for living with someone who thinks I’ve still got it.

I’m grateful for our kitty-cat Molly, who has tamed us, trained us, and let us know just who is in charge.

I’m grateful for some of the most wonderful friends that anyone could wish for, and for the spirit-sisters and soul-brothers that mean more to me than they might appreciate. You know who you are (and you know who you’re not).

I’m grateful for my brothers Roy and Michael – and their families. I love my nephews Dylan and Eric and David, and you are great Dads.

I’m grateful for my Mom, and especially for those moments when we really connect.

I’m grateful for my uncles and aunts. My Uncle Ronnie has been there for me my entire life – and he holds a special place in my heart.

I’m grateful to have been able to get to know my Dad’s brothers and sisters better over time, and that nothing but actual distance separates us. I love you Joyce and Elaine and Roberta and Gail and especially Jerry, who is so like and so unlike my Dad.

I’m grateful for all my cousins (and there are a lot of them!). You are so funny Mark, you are so dear Allen, you are so lucky Paul. I’m especially grateful for my beautiful, intelligent, grounded, caring woman-cousins. You make me smile – a lot. You are astounding women in your own right, and you’re great mommies too! You – Kim and Jillian and Micaela and Aletta and Kirsten and Katie and Dawn are stars in my universe. The cousin-spouses are wonderful – you’ve chosen well.

I’m grateful for the cousin-kiddies: Zaqq and Jynessica and Alex and Katie and Olivia and Grace and Paige and Devin and Brooke and Douglas, and Shelby, Hunter, and Zach, and Ethan, and Taylor, and and .. awww… this family sure did reproduce well! I don’t think I’ve listed anywhere near…

I’m grateful too for my in-law families. Tommy and Pam, Steve and Pat, Laura – and yes – John (I hope I’m still your favorite left-winger). All their kin are my kin too.

I love my nephew JT and his dear wife Tonya, and I love my nephew Lance. I remain hopeful that bridges will yet appear, and I have faith that all misunderstandings will be unraveled and healed.

I’m grateful to have found an odd kind of respect for and friendship with my hubby’s ex-wife Paula. I’m grateful for the caring love between my stepson and son. I’m grateful for some good discussions and fun with my stepson Evan, and I know that all difficulties will heal in time.

I’m grateful that I have a job, and that it’s a good job with a company that I respect. I’m grateful that I have amazing colleagues there: smart, fun, and sometimes even annoying. I love them all.

I’m grateful that I am able to live in a house, especially one with a back deck that looks out to the woods. I love to watch the sunsets and the moonrises and the birds, and the trees. I love to sit outside here and feel that we’re miles from anywhere.

I’m grateful that I have “a room of my own” – the private space that is my office and the private space of my mind/heart/spirit. I’m grateful too for interconnectivity – for the telephone, and the internet, and yes, for Facebook.

I’m grateful that my car is somehow still running, and I’m grateful for the new furnace. I’m grateful too for a good vacuum cleaner. It sounds silly, unless you’ve lived without one.

I’m grateful for music, which so often takes me “where my heart wants to go.”

I’m grateful for books – both material and electronic. They have enlarged my imagination, taught me critical skills, expanded my ability to navigate, and allowed me the possibility to imagine things and people and paths differently. I love the heavy books, and I love the candy books too.

I’m grateful for my mentors and teachers, without whom I would have been lost. I’ve been so fortunate in having such excellent guides and friends throughout my life.

I’m grateful for adversaries, too; sometimes you are great teachers.

I’m grateful for the absence of some folks from my life, too.

I’m grateful for humor and laughter, for celebrations, tricksters and court jesters.

I’m grateful for invented vocabularies, for wordplay and codes and abbreviations, and for just the right amount of teasing and sarcasm.

I’m grateful for conversations, and for silence.

I’m grateful to be welcomed in, and grateful too for sweet farewells.

I’m grateful for alone time.

I’m grateful for moments of insight, for mutual understanding, a shared joke, a spirit-communion, for wit and also for deep, abiding love.

I’m grateful for high bandwidth.

I’m grateful for moments that are forever suspended in time.

I’m grateful for every kindness that I see, no matter how small it might seem.

I’m grateful for those who bring out the best in others.

I’m grateful for authenticity and trust.

I’m grateful for what means nothing and still means everything.

I’m grateful for hugs.

I’m grateful for everything I can see, smell, touch, feel, hear, taste and imagine.

I’m grateful that I’ve become more grateful, and that the smallest detail can sometimes bring such joy.

I’m grateful for the microscope, and the telescope, and for the ability to scope.

I’m grateful for the cosmos, and starlight, and especially for the moon – and for what points toward it.

I’m grateful for all of the manifestations that point to the divine and the sacred, and for the playfulness they evoke/invoke in me.

I’m grateful for meditations, for the elements, for the directions, for all the rich tapestries of life.

I’m grateful for language, for paradox, for metaphor, for the rules of civil discourse and the visionary transports of poetry.

I’m grateful for everything, and for nothingness, and for the sweet spots where order and chaos meet in beauty.

I’m grateful for the presence of Love, and for the grace that I receive.

Thank you, deity/deities.
Thank you, cosmos.
Thank you, our reality-niche.
Thank you, family.
Thank you, friends.
Thank you, body and heart and mind and spirit.
Thank you, Love.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ that will suffice.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Molly-kitty Scare

Molly-kitty Scare

Last night at about 9 pm, a fluffy white and black cat attacked our Molly in the back yard. It was the full cat attack, complete with screech.

I yelled and chased the other cat off the property, but Molly took off so fast in another direction that I couldn’t even track where she went.

I called to her, but she didn’t respond. I figured that she was rightfully spooked and probably took off into the woods (our house adjoins a park). After about an hour, I started to worry that she might be injured and started looking for her. Nothing.

After locating a flashlight, I searched under the deck and up on the roof and all over. Nothing.

This morning, I called to her and even tapped a can of food. Nothing.

By lunchtime, I was thinking about how the coyotes took our other cat Zoom. I was watching the sky for birds of prey. Ben and I took a walk, calling to her and listening for the slightest miaow. Nothing.

A couple of hours ago, I put out an alert on her microchip in case someone found her. I alerted my nearest neighbor, and had just gotten off the phone when –

THERE SHE WAS!! Bounding toward us!

So skittish she almost ran away when we opened the door. Ben and I went inside and opened a can of her favorite food. She slinked into the kitchen – without her normal bossy tones – and munched down. Good sign.

She was trembling, still obviously frightened. I checked her carefully, but she appeared to be uninjured – physically, at least.

We’ve been comforting her, and now she and Ben are nestled up together. She’s all warm and happy.

And so are we. Such a scare.

We love our little Molly.

Why I switched from Comcast to AT&T U-Verse

Why I switched from Comcast to AT&T U-Verse

I’m not a big fan of the politics of the telecommunications companies (particularly with regard to the issue of net neutrality) but I’ve got to have connectivity. Since the days of slow dial-up, I’ve tried them all. I was hopeful about Comcast, but it was nothing but trouble from the start. The experience at the Comcast store yesterday (see the bottom of the post) only cemented my judgment.

  • In my area, Comcast pretty much had a monopoly for broadband services. That made me uncomfortable right away.
  • The service was rather expensive – even bundled – for the value of the features received.
  • The shared neighborhood connection was insufficient.
  • There were often so many errors on the line that service was significantly degraded.
  • My house was wired a long time ago, and there were problems with the setup that Comcast refused to address. I paid several times for their service people to come out and address these problems, but they wouldn’t deal with the root issues.
  • They sent some subcontractor in an unmarked vehicle out in the middle of the night to “upgrade” the street-level connection. Whatever it was, it made things worse. Yet another service call.
  • Suggestions made for improvement were ignored (as far as I can tell).

U-Verse just recently became available in my neighborhood. I must have grilled the salesperson for two hours or more on all the packages, features, possibilities. We are at the very end of the coverage area, so I had concerns about connection speed and reliability. The salesperson was a former real estate developer who had lost the business in the housing crash and was more intelligent and relaxed than is the norm for folks that end up going door to door. I enjoyed the conversation. He did say that I probably wouldn’t be able to get the highest speed, but I was happy with the next level down (12 MB), especially since it wouldn’t be a shared connection as with Comcast.

The technician that came to my house was very professional, and also flexible with regard to what needed to be done. Within a few minutes, he had established that there were several wiring problems, including the fact that there was a splitter on top of another splitter. We came to an agreement about what he would do to address that. He rewired part of the house (and he had the drill as well as all the other equipment on hand). He also set up the upstairs office with two boxes that would talk through the electrical wiring, allowing an ethernet cord to be used. This is great because it would have been difficult to pull another wire up there, and the wireless seems to have trouble reaching up reliably and at top speed. He could tell that I was savvy enough not to need the full technican setup on everything, so we took that charge off to help pay for the other things he was doing. He also made sure that we were actually *receiving* HD.

At the end of his time here, I had three tvs hooked up with their own individual boxes, two desktop computers hooked up, and a notebook computer set up on wireless. The phone was working fine, and I had set up my online options for everything.

Some things I particularly like:

  • The connection is faster, and I don’t have to reload pages in my browser anymore.
  • Each television has its own options settings, including dvr with lots of space to record, and personal channel favorites.
  • When the phone rings, it shows caller ids on the screen. No more getting up to answer robocalls or alumni donation requests.
  • I can set the phone up to ring on my cellphone at the same time (not just call forwarding).
  • I’ve got some 400 channels. I don’t have to pay extra for MSNBC or the Tennis Channel. And sooo many great movie channels! I never had Biography or History or National Geographic before. Yay!
  • I like the feature where it grabs your favorite channels and scrolls little screens on the right. It’s a lot easier than trying to find something through all those channels.
  • Lots of foreign stations to explore.
  • My voicemails can be emailed to me – a service that would only work once in a while with Comcast.

I’m very very happy with the services so far. We’ll see how it goes. There is no contract, and AT&T has good customer service, so it’s not a difficult decision.

The nail on the coffin? I drove to the nearest Comcast location after work yesterday to drop off my modem and box. I arrived at the door, carrying this equipment, at three minutes until six. A man came to the door and told me they were closed. I pointed out that it wasn’t yet six o’clock, and he repeated that they were closed. How rude! Of course, it might not have helped that it was Halloween Friday, and I was dressed as an old, tired poet (complete with deep blue velvet hat), but I drove all the way over there, lugged this equipment to the door before their closing time, and was met with a response that made me verrrrrry angry!!! Whatever you want to say about AT&T, they do have a better sense of customer service than that.

So, bye bye Comcast! I’ll be watching your migrating client base with a big smile on my face. You don’t care – and it shows!

Frog or Toad?

Frog or Toad?

This beautiful creature was on the wall of our house this morning.

I don’t know why this sweet guy was hanging out on the wall when he could have been in the woods, or even the pond.

Note the webbed toes, and the wonderful coloration.

So – what do you think? Frog or toad?

Done at Twilight

Done at Twilight

It look much longer than I thought it would to sand and paint the front stairs. I finished with the fading twilight, and it felt so good to stretch and survey my work. I’m sooooo sore! I should have done all of this in the spring.

Front Steps DONE
Front Steps DONE

Molly got tired out just watching. She snuck into the bedroom and she looked so cute we didn’t have the heart to kick her out.

Molly Snuggles

I’ll sleep well tonight, but I’ll still have grey-spattered hands for work tomorrow. Forgot to get paint remover.

Mama Tortoise

Mama Tortoise

Every summer, at least one mama tortoise finds her way to our yard to lay her eggs. Every time I’ve seen this, it’s been raining. Maybe it makes the clay easier to dig. This year, I spotted her during the digging phase. She picked a tough place to do it, all among some old landscaping pebbles buried down against flooding.

After grabbing a few photographs, I left her alone to do what she was there to do. She’ll be gone by morning. So far, I’ve never seen the little ones hatch – maybe they do that in the rain, too.