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Engagement Balance Decision

Engagement Balance Decision

No disguise can long conceal love where it is, nor feign it where it is not. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld

I’m passionate about certain topics. Some themes in politics and religion and life in general are not matters of disinterested observation but of deep commitment. In the last year, I’ve become very frustrated – angry even – about how malleable people can sometimes be, about how fearful, paranoid and even hateful the manipulated populations can become. Inchoate, thick with sadness, I feel claustrophobic – surrounded by ignorance and misunderstanding, perversions of thought, and the misinformation and disinformation campaigns that seem to function just fine for whoever pours enough money into the effort.

Our culture alienates us and turns us away from one another’s authenticity. It caricatures, scapegoats and demonizes its own. It allows bald-faced lies to parade as truth, and it appeals to the worst aspects of us – in the name of God or good. You can taste it sometimes. It’s acrid.

I’ve heard a lot of anger – often horribly misplaced – and far too much destructive and misinformed prattle. It erupts in unexpected places sometimes, and that’s very depressing. Not all arguments are equal in value. Knowledge is always partial and biased, but there are statements that are closer to the truths we can grasp than others will ever be. To me, it’s more about creating balance in fairness, in justice.

Some of the schemers have overplayed their hand. The values of this country at its best are being reflected back to us in new ways. Perhaps that mirroring can yet defamiliarize us and then catalyze recognition effects in that mythical “average American” that so flattens out our complexities into illusion and prejudice.

“Intellectual freedom is essential to human society. Freedom of thought is the only guarantee against an infection of people by mass myths, which, in the hands of treacherous hypocrites and demagogues, can be transformed into bloody dictatorships.” ~Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov

Engagement on topics that mean something to me is fruitless when there is no understanding of what counts as an argument. I don’t enjoy trying to create dialogue with unworthy adversaries. In this respect, I have become what many would call an elitist. It means something to me – so contribute something worthwhile! Why else would I care about what you say? Yes, it’s a free country. Think whatever you like in the sacred space of your mind. Say whatever you like, too. However, I’m under no obligation to take what you say seriously or to engage with you in dialogue unless there is some hope of real and serious communication. I’m willing to hear and judge for myself, just as you are. Here and there… discernment still flows. I no longer have the inclination to play in arenas where it is palpably absent.

If the only object of a discussion appears to be a simple lashing out at perceived or imaginary adversaries, especially combined with a lack of information or any reasonable picture of context or reality, it’s not really a conversation – it’s just an emotional beating. I’m no masochist. Anyone can look up the rules of argument, the necessary grounds of dialogue, the guidelines of debate. Why should I engage when the dialogue doesn’t observe the conventions of simple civility?

Sometimes I get the sinking feeling that I’m being played as I get drawn into these discussions that are more about abuse than enlightenment. Such predatory games are extremely infuriating. Claims attempted on me because of some historical association or commonality of interest just aren’t enough to move me anymore.

The other day a former Jehovah’s Witness asked me why I had defriended him on Facebook. He thought it was “very sad” that it appeared to be because of a discussion on his wall. My response:

I’ve found that the ex-JW connection isn’t always enough. There are many people who remain confused, broken, and with deep imprints of thought patterns and habits. Some of these I can embrace, even support and help. Others infuriate me because I can see the blocks and the slave mentality that survives, or I can see an unthinking flipside of meaningless rebellion. I tend to spend my time on the ones that have an ability for self-reflection, transformation, kindness and flexibility. I have little patience anymore for uninformed propaganda parroting, or false piety, or manipulations.

Outside of that consideration, I’ve developed a rule of thumb about FB friends in general. If I see more than a few posts that push my buttons and make me angry, it’s just better for my mental health to defriend. I give it my best shot a couple of times, but it’s not my responsibility to teach or guide or inform and when it becomes more of a negative than a positive experience, I just walk away. It’s too short of a life to embroil myself in impossible dialogues.

I am writing this explanation to you simply because you were kind enough to ask. Best wishes –

It is difficult for me to write such things. I feel that I should somehow be available to everyone and anyone – in concern, in caring. However, I’m also much more keenly aware of the relative merits and effects of my interactions as I’m spread so very thin. I re-read what I wrote. And again.

Why should, why would I engage in and even seek out such discussions? Why do I so often feel compelled to participate? I have a choice. I can choose the occasion, the level, the tenor, the style. Why haven’t I had the discipline and meta-flexibility to do that more often? I think it’s because I’ve not been caring enough for my own needs.

I need nourishment. I need sustenance. Time is running through my hands.

I’m drawn more and more to the projects and pursuits that I have delayed for far too long. How much of what I do is really worth my limited time? Deeper affinities and sympathies are necessary. They have become – Necessary.

If this means that I become less accessible, less visible – what of it? Service is, after all, a valuable gift to oneself as well as to others. The best hope with some is just to plant a seed and trust to the winds anyway. My own best insights have often been a result of such actions by others.

There are so many avenues to explore, so many meandering paths, so many divine moments and details. Should all of this be discarded or postponed – deferred – simply for the sake of a paltry and very secondary urge to persuade others to my own point of view? It has to be an honest exchange. Where there is no scene of the between, why bother?

I’ve drowned myself in this superfluous uselessness for too long. There are too many other things to do, to think, to find.

I have real friends. I have a real home. I have a real job. I have a real book to write. I have real dreamtime to enjoy. I have real communion.

AND – I got my smile… I got life, brother.

My Picks for Open-Minded Blogs in Religion and Politics

My Picks for Open-Minded Blogs in Religion and Politics

Sorry for the delay in posting my five recommends for the Open Minded Blog award.

It turns out that many of my favorite blogs are not terribly open-minded (grin).

Politics – generally speaking – turned out to be a dud. I started exploring to see what I could find. Not much, I’m afraid. For one thing, I think it’s really a very difficult time in the United States for finding open-mindedness in politics. My personal disgust and depression about American politics is a hard thing to overcome – at least for the moment. I agree in theory that open-mindedness and civility are the right way to go. However, I think there are too many issues and problems that need straightforward statements and positions – many of them in outright opposition to current policies and actions. Compromise isn’t working. In addition, the whole discourse is so contaminated and overdetermined by various interests that I almost despair of seeing the kind of change that I think we need to survive and thrive in future. So, overall, I don’t think I’m in a position to extoll the virtues of open-mindedness in political opinion just now.

So then I turned to religion. You might think, given recent posts, that the topic would be more difficult than even politics. It isn’t, though. I already have a number of favorites, and found many more with spiritual and religio-political themes.

Some of the best ones are actually institutions, or group blogs, and I got the impression that this award was really for discovery, not reinforcement. On top of that, many blogs I read don’t actually have a great deal of interactivity, or they don’t post on a regular enough basis. More than a couple had decided to take some time off.

After the initial weed-through, I had a list of about thirty blogs – to whittle down to five choices. This was not easy. At all.

There a number of great blogs with spiritual concerns of various kinds. I tend to prefer the ones that deal in some way with other concerns as well. There are many who are worthy of the award. Finally, I just picked five on the list that I have enjoyed. They have the requisite qualifications of civility, openness, receptivity and interactivity – and I feel comfortable recommending them to others. They are grounded in somewhat different traditions/perspectives, but I like the vibe on all of these.

  1. T h i s * i s * i t – “Life. This is all there is. Start living.”
  2. Blog of the Grateful Bear – “ramblings of a freelance panentheist { “all things are in God, and God is in all things” } . . . musings on spirituality, mysticism, Sufism, lost gospels, cats, music, healing, interfaith dialogue, gay and lesbian issues, and more.”
  3. The Cartoon Church Blog – Delightful cartoons and observations.
  4. Even the Devils Believe – “I hope that this blog can serve primarily as a forum for talking about spirituality, liturgy, and the many paths to love and humility.”
  5. slacktivist – “Knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend.”

Winners, go here for more information.

Please comment if you can recommend additional open-minded, kind and civil blogs on the topics of politics and/or religion. I would really like to add to my list.

Freedom Religion Liberty

Freedom Religion Liberty

That’s how I like to see it – religion flanked on either side by freedom and liberty. Liberty of religious belief and expression, freedom of religion from government intervention and freedom of government from religious intervention. Freedom of thought, freedom of mind, freedom of belief.

When I was a kid, it was very common for us to say, “It’s a free country. You can’t tell me what to do.” We used it in a wide range of situations, some of which didn’t exactly work out.

It turns out that mom and dad and other family members, your teachers and other secular authorities, the religious authorities of your family’s membership, and the mean bully kids all can actually tell you what to do, even in a free country.

One of the benefits of growing up was getting to decide who I was going to allow to be in a position to tell me what to do. Myself, I prefer a light touch and lots of autonomy, but others need to be regulated from the outside to feel secure. Choosing our authority-figures wisely is a developmental task for every one of us.

The separation of church and state, the resolute decision to keep the two separate – for the benefit of both sides as well as for the rights of each and every American citizen – is one of the most significant of our national contributions to the world.

It is also one of the most important aspects of the American heritage that we hold in common – beyond our differences.

America is about freedom, America is the land of free. Free thought, free expression, free belief (or unbelief!).

Have we so forgotten that? Let’s not throw it all away.

Do not be misled. Religious movements of all kinds thrive in America precisely because of this set of traditions, and our advances in science and technology depend on them too.

Here is a little collection of quotations on this set of topics – I find these resonant today. Comment if there are more you’d like to add.


“Intellectual freedom is essential to human society. Freedom of thought is the only guarantee against an infection of people by mass myths, which, in the hands of treacherous hypocrites and demagogues, can be transformed into bloody dictatorships.” – Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov, Russian nuclear scientist.

“Protecting religious freedoms may be more important in the late twentieth century than it was when the Bill of Rights was ratified. We live in a pluralistic society, with people of widely divergent religious backgrounds or with none at all. Government cannot endorse beliefs of one group without sending a clear message to non-adherents that they are outsiders.” – Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, in a speech to a Philadelphia conference on religion in public life, May 1991

“Religious beliefs and religious expression are too precious to be either proscribed or prescribed by the state.” – Justice Anthony M. Kennedy

“Voluntary, individual, silent prayer has never been banned or discouraged in the public schools. The Supreme Court has banned state-sponsored religious services. Those who advocate prayer services in the public schools do not want voluntary prayer. They want the government to be officially involved in promoting and sponsoring prayer services so as to put pressure on children to engage in public prayer. They apparently do not care whether parents want their children to engage in public prayer or be indoctrinated with sectarian religious ideas. The object is to provide a captive classroom audience that will be exposed to the prayers of those with a religious message, which they deliver in the form of a prayer.” – John M. Swomley, Religious Liberty and the Secular State: The Constitutional Context, 1987, p. 128.

“One of the embarrassing problems for the early nineteenth-century champions of the Christian faith was that not one of the first six Presidents of the United States was an orthodox Christian.” – Mortimer Adler, The Annals of America: Great Issues in American Life, Vol. II, 1968, p. 420.

“We will be a better country when each religious group can trust its members to obey the dictates of their own religious faith without assistance from the legal structure of the country.” – Margaret Mead, anthropologist, Redbook magazine, February, 1963

“It is implicit in the history and character of American public education that the public schools serve a uniquely public function: the training of American citizens in an atmosphere free of parochial, divisive, or separatist influence of any sort – an atmosphere in which children may assimilate a heritage common to all American groups and religions. This is a heritage neither theistic nor atheistic, but simply civic and patriotic.” – Supreme Court Justice William Brennan, Abington Township S.D. v. Schempp, 1963

“The separation of church and state is extremely important to any of us who holds to the original traditions of our nation. To change these traditions by changing our traditional attitude toward public education would be harmful to our whole attitude of tolerance in the religious area. If we look at situations which have arisen in the past in Europe and other world areas, I think we will see the reasons why it is wise to hold to our early traditions.” – Eleanor Roosevelt, New York World-Telegram, June 23, 1949

“Once you attempt legislation upon religious grounds, you open the way for every kind of intolerance and religious persecution.” – William Butler Yeats, 1937

“You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man’s freedom. You can only be free if I am free.” – Clarence S. Darrow, 1857-1938, American attorney.

“I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States.” – Thomas Alva Edison

“The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities.” – John E. E. Dalberg (Lord Acton, British historian), The History of Freedom and Other Essays, 1907

“In all ages, hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings.” – Robert G. Ingersoll, Prose Poems and Selections, 1884.

“A civil ruler dabbling in religion is as reprehensible as a clergyman dabbling in politics. Both render themselves odious as well as ridiculous.” – James Cardinal Gibbons, 1834-1921, second American to be made a Catholic cardinal, Faith of Our Fathers, 1877.

“The structure of our government has, for the preservation of civil liberty, rescued the temporal institutions from religious interference. On the other hand, it has secured religious liberty from the invasion of the civil authority.” – U.S. Supreme Court, 1872

“… I questioned the faithful of all communions; I particularly sought the society of clergymen, who are the depositories of the various creeds and have a personal interest in their survival … all thought the main reason for the quiet sway of religion over their country was the complete separation of church and state. I have no hesitation in stating that throughout my stay in America I met nobody, lay or cleric, who did not agree about that.” – Alexis de Tocqueville, writing of his travels in America in 1830

“All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal laws must protect, and to violate which would be oppression.” – Thomas Jefferson, “First Inaugural Address,” March 4, 1801

“Let the human mind loose. It must be loose. It will be loose. Superstition and Dogmatism cannot confine it.” – John Adams, letter to John Quincy Adams, November 13, 1816.

The stated purpose of the American government: “establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity” – Preamble to the Constitution, 1787

“Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth.” – Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782

“Religious matters are to be separated from the jurisdiction of the state not because they are beneath the interests of the state, but, quite to the contrary, because they are too high and holy and thus are beyond the competence of the state.” – Isaac Backus, Appeal to the Public for Religious Liberty, 1773.

“I esteem it above all things necessary to distinguish exactly the business of civil government from that of religion and to settle the just bounds that lie between the one and the other.” – John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration, 1689

“Enforced uniformity confounds civil and religious liberty and denies the principles of Christianity and civility. No man shall be required to worship or maintain a worship against his will.” – Roger Williams, The Bloudy Tenet of Persecution, 1644

“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.” – John Milton, Areopagitica, 1644

“It is a heretic that makes the fire, not she which burns in it.” – William Shakespeare, The Winter’s Tale, Act 2, Scene 3

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father, which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” Matthew 6:5-6.