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Feedback from a Former Jehovah’s Witness

Feedback from a Former Jehovah’s Witness

Comments 4 comments

This is the kind of feedback that makes it all worthwhile. Thank you for responding, and best wishes to you on your journey!

Until recently, I was just an ex-JW. But now I’m really trying to become a recovering JW. I realized that as soon as I was df’d, I just threw myself into a frenzy of activities and poor choices, with no real direction. I think I was trying to stay busy so I’d forget about it all. But about a month ago, it all came crashing down, and for the first time, I have time to think about the effect it’s had on me. I made a firm decision to get better and stop hurting myself, but I wasn’t sure where to begin. I started meditating on it and talking to some friends about the matter, but of course, no-one that hasn’t been in the situation seems to be able to wrap their head around the idea – much less empathize. I got more frustrated and started scouring the internet for some kindred souls…

The conclusion I came to is this: 90% of ex-JWs are either not trying to move on with their lives, or doing it in a very unhealthy way. I’m sick and tired of hopping from page to page on the web and reading rants and raves of individuals df’d 30 years ago – still b*tching about elder so-and-so like it was yesterday. I’m sick of all the postings that positively ooze bitterness and hard feelings. Even worse, I’m becoming painfully frustrated at all of the “reformed” christians that frequently seem to spawn out of ex’s. It seems like everybody is screaming to jump on the bash-the-JW’s bandwagon – but only as part of an aggressive marketing strategy for their new church. For example, my non-JW grandmother introduced me to a friend that was df’d many years ago, in the hopes that this person would be able to encourage me. But this person really does not care at all about me. All I hear about is how I should attend this person’s church and that jesus will magically take away all the pain! I’m really tired of being alienated even from the people I should have so much in common with.

I’m young, totally over religion for now, and I have my whole life ahead of me. I know I have problems and I think it would help immensely to find people who have the correct, and healthy view on being an ex jw. I have a few basic beliefs about growing up as a jw that I’m trying to stick to right now:

  1. That it’s a traumatic and damaging way to grow up, and even more painful to deal with once you break free from it.
  2. That being an ex-jw is like being the child of alcoholic/abusive parents – it causes problems throughout life that will need to be identified and dealt with.
  3. That the damage caused by being an ex jw has absolutely nothing to do with an individual learning false doctrines, and therefore cannot be fixed simply by finding another church whose teachings you agree with. People get hurt by the practices, not the beliefs!!
  4. That there’s a balance to be found between learning from your experiences and dwelling on them. And it is absolutely worth it to recover and go on to live a happy life!

Tonight I read your blog “advice for recovering JW’s“, and I really think you’ve gotten the most out of your experience. It was so refreshing to finally discover that someone can reach out to other people that are hurting, without sounding like an enraged lunatic, or having alterior motives. The writing is logical, and hints at a wisdom and patience acquired from learning a lot of tough lessons. It helped me so much to finally identify my self destructive habits I’ve been carrying with me! You also made some great suggestions for channeling negative feelings into positive endeavors. Thank you so much for taking the time to share some of the things you’ve learned in this life with others! I only wish that every ex jw had your same determination to get better.

Any time you feel like sharing more helpful advice please do so. Thanks to a very wise friend, and your blog, I now have an idea of what I need to do to stop destroying all the good things in my life. Now I just need people to be there for support. If what I said in this email makes sense, please don’t hesitate to write back and share some of your experiences with me. I feel like I’m about to begin a long journey; and it sure would be nice to get tips from someone who’s already well on their way. Thanks again-I will definitely be checking out the rest of virushead in the near future. 🙂

YouTube Al Jazeera English Channel

YouTube Al Jazeera English Channel

Comments 0 Comment

In an interesting move, the Al Jazeera English channel put a video on YouTube asking for feedback videos on the YouTube channel. What are people’s perceptions, views, and suggestions?

(An aside – wow, is that anchorwoman Ghida Fakhry ever pretty!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVFrryFNfEA[/youtube]

As you might expect, the video responses were of varying quality. Many respondents disguised themselves. One hid a pretty nasty message in pig latin. Others used it to interview for a job, or to express various opinions of their own. Here were a few that stood out to me for one reason or another.

The Hands-Down Best Critique.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDU61G59FoA[/youtube]

Under pressure (including murder) to dilute reporting, now importing “BBC” types for the English channel.
(Journalist author filmmaker John Pilger)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaUTTlK4MW4[/youtube]

To Address Preconceptions, Change to a Neutral Name (i.e. “Associated Press”)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zD-UqnKJI8[/youtube]

Paris Hilton (etc.) vs News – any questions?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7jB3UK4O-I[/youtube]

And, my favorite…

Save Me Some Brain Ache, Please.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFUOnh4DLeY[/youtube]

Website Feedback for the New York Times

Website Feedback for the New York Times

Comments 1 comment

I can’t get out this afternoon to pick up a copy of the New York Times.

I get an email from a friend, saying that I just have to read Paul Krugman’s column.
At the site, there is this teaser:

OP-ED COLUMNIST
For God’s Sake By PAUL KRUGMAN
Published: April 13, 2007

The infiltration of the federal government by large numbers of people seeking to impose a religious agenda is one of the most important stories of the last six years.

If it’s so important, why can’t I read it?

Well, because Krugman has become one of the New York Times “Select” subscriber-only columns. It costs about $8.00 a month.

Grumble, grumble, boo-hiss.

Here’s a better idea:

Charge twenty-five or less per article. That’s still a lot more than it’s worth (considering how many articles are in the paper, and the cost of an entire paper).

Update on McAfee Feedback

Update on McAfee Feedback

Comments 3 comments

Coincidence? Uh-huh. Right.

Dear Heidi:

We regret to inform you that McAfee, Inc has removed you from their
Affiliate Program. Merchants may remove affiliates from their programs
for many different reasons, including violation of legal terms, inactivity, changes
in site content, etc.

Feedback for McAfee

Feedback for McAfee

Comments 9 comments

Some companies spend a lot of money to do client satisfaction surveys. I consider it a service to provide some valuable feedback.

A charge from McAfee appeared out of the blue on a current credit card statement. This charge was made on a card I hadn’t used in some time, one that I had vowed some time ago not to use. My husband pointed to the new – solitary – item. I had no explanation.

I spent a while on the website, trying to ascertain what it could have been. Finally, I tried their online chat.

It became clear almost at once that I was being charged a yearly renewal service fee (for how many years?) on the account that I had opened years ago under my old educational email address. If there was any reminder or notice about this yearly payment, I couldn’t have received it. Moreover, any such courtesy email – if it was sent (which I doubt) would have bounced. They would have received a bounced email, and my telephone number and address were on file.

So they just kept charging me – hoping, I suppose, that I wouldn’t catch it. I wonder how many other people have such charges?

I’ve had my current email address for several years now, and haven’t even had access to my other one since August 2004. I had stopped using that address for my primary email contact a few years before that. Who knows how many charges there may have been? I started from scratch with a new version last year after trying a couple of other products.

In all fairness, a reread of the transcript allowed me to see that I did misunderstand something. I was reading quickly, and scanned “charged” as “changed.” I thought they were asking when my email address changed, but I think they were actually trying to find out the date of the credit card transaction. I don’t have access to the bill this evening anyway, so I couldn’t have given it to them. The misunderstanding contributed to my frustration level… but that was my own blind spot in the communication.

There is still quite a bit for someone to go over in an improvement planning or strategy session, if they are so inclined.

I’m not fond of the on-line chats for many of the bigger companies. I don’t know what the set-up is, but I often get the distinct impression that it is automated and that I’m not actually in contact with a person. Often, the conversation doesn’t pass the Turning test.

I think the transcript speaks for itself. It has been lightly edited for security, confidentiality, and glaring typos.

Please wait while we find a customer service representative to assist you…
You have been connected to Andrew Ne(*).
Andrew Ne(*): Thank you for contacting McAfee customer service. How may I help you today?
Heidi N(*): I am writing to question the recent charge on my credit card bill
Andrew Ne(*): Heidi, I’ll be happy to help you.
Andrew Ne(*): Please go ahead with your issue.
Heidi N(*): I got no advance notice of such a charge and no receipt If it was a renewal, I would have preferred for the charge to be on another card.
Heidi N(*): Do you have access to the record of the charge?
Andrew Ne(*): One moment please, while I look up your account details. I appreciate your patience.
Andrew Ne(*): Heidi, I see that you have valid McAfee products registered under the e-mail address hei(*).
Andrew Ne(*): May I have your billing address for verification, please?
Heidi N(*): (*)
Andrew Ne(*): Please provide me the complete address.
Heidi N(*): (*)
Andrew Ne(*): Thank you very much for the information.
Andrew Ne(*): I see that you have McAfee Internet Security Suite valid till 10/15/2007. And you have purchased the software on 10/15/2006.
Heidi N(*): Yes, so why was there a charge?
Andrew Ne(*): May I know the date when your account charged recently?
Heidi N(*): My account didn’t recently change. I promised my husband I wouldn’t use that card, but there is a charge from you on the last bill. I got no reminder or advance notice and I would like a reason for the

Currently experiencing network delays, one moment please….
Network connection re-established.

Heidi N(*): charge. It was thirty-something dollars. I would also like to credit that and process the charge, if it is valid, on some other card.
Heidi N(*): But so far I don’t have the explanation for the charge.
Heidi N(*): Questions?
Andrew Ne(*): I will do my best to resolve your issue.
Heidi N(*): I would appreciate your doing so.
Andrew Ne(*): I will let you know the reason for you the charges.

Andrew Ne(*): May I know the date when your account charged recently?
Heidi N(*): OH, please. Is this a person?
Heidi N(*): Please let me chat with your supervisor.
Andrew Ne(*): I appreciate your patience. May I place you on hold while I escalate your chat?
Heidi N(*): Manager. Supervisor. Person in charge there. Human.
Heidi N(*): Yes. As soon as possible please.
Andrew Ne(*) has left the session.

Please wait while we find an agent from the CS-McAfee Tier2 Escalations department to assist you.
You have been connected to Brad Ju(*).
Brad Ju(*): Thank you for contacting McAfee Tier 2 Escalations. I would like to take two minutes to review all of your previous interactions.
Heidi N(*): Brad. Please read the above transcript.
Brad Ju(*): If I understand you correctly Heidi, you would like to know why you have charged recently?
Heidi N(*): Yes, that is the primary question to begin.
Brad Ju(*): One moment please, while I look up your account details. I appreciate your patience.
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, I see that you have valid McAfee products registered under the e-mail address hei(*).
Heidi N(*): Yes, as you see from the above.
Brad Ju(*): Do you have any e-mail address ending with lear(*)?
Heidi N(*): I used to, but I graduated two years ago with my PhD
Heidi N(*): My primary address is hei(*)
Brad Ju(*): Please let me know lear(*) full e-mail address.
Heidi N(*): Again with the scripting machine. Please escalate me to Tier3
Heidi N(*): Human chat, please
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, I see that you have been charged under the lear(*) McAfee account for the renewal.
Heidi N(*): hn(*) has not been my address is two years.
Brad Ju(*): Yes, I am human.
Heidi N(*): Do you mean to tell me you’ve still been charging me?
Heidi N(*): I bought a whole new version, full price!
Heidi N(*): The scripts make it appear that you are using an elementary artificial intelligence. Repetition. Lack of understanding.
Heidi N(*): I would like any charges make after my graduation date in August 2004 to be refunded.
Heidi N(*): I would like you to combine the records with my current information.
Brad Ju(*): I completely understand your frustration and will be more than happy to help you.
Brad Ju(*): Before I can provide you with the account details that you have requested, I need to follow some security guidelines to ensure your account integrity. Please bear with me while we go through the process.
Heidi N(*): I will comply with your procedures, but this is not good customer service.
Brad Ju(*): I see that account has been setup with McAfee Always on protection under the hn(*).
Heidi N(*): That would have had to have been more than 2 years ago.
Heidi N(*): If so, probably yes.
Heidi N(*): But I upgraded, bought the complete new version
Heidi N(*): It gave me a lot of trouble, and it’s heavy, and it shredded a bunch of my files.
Heidi N(*): Now you say that I’ve been getting charges on a card I haven’t used in some time. If you are married, you can understand my concern. Especially if this is a bogus charge.
Heidi N(*): Which it certainly appears to be.
Brad Ju(*): Since your account was setup for McAfee Always on protection under the hn(*) McAfee account and it has been auto-renewed on 1/5/2007.
Heidi N(*): Not acceptable. Do we need to escalate to another Tier or something to get this resolved?
Heidi N(*): I’ve been signing in with hei(*) for a while.

Brad Ju(*): Do you like to get refund for the recent charge on 1/5/2007 and use the McAfee product purchased on 10/15/2006 under the e-mail address hei(*)?
Heidi N(*): Yes, and also refund for previous charges if I was not updating the software.
Heidi N(*): I am pretty sure that I used Norton for a least a year.
Brad Ju(*): As per our terms and conditions, we guarantee that McAfee Customer Services subscriptions will make your computer more secure. If for any reason you are not completely satisfied, we offer a full refund within 60 days of purchase. However, you are now outside that 60-day time frame. It is also our policy that we do not provide partial refunds.
Heidi N(*): It was an even heavier drag on my system.
Brad Ju(*): I can able to refund only the recent charges under your account. Is okay for you?
Heidi N(*): Again there is a lack of understanding of the situation. Wou
Heidi N(*): Fine, that will be enough to placate my irate husband for the moment.
Heidi N(*): I just swallow any other yearly charges that you could not have notified me about since I could not access mail at the lea(*) address?
Heidi N(*): The emails would have bounced.
Heidi N(*): I am sure that you can track this.
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, I understand that your purchase was processed through the McAfee Store. In order to request a refund for this purchase, please contact the McAfee Store directly at 1-800-310-2980.
Heidi N(*): I do not want a refund for my purchase. I want a refund on the yearly charge on my old, inactive email account for a product I haven’t owned in years. I have the current security center program now.
Heidi N(*): I want to continue to use it (I Think), but this recent charge appears to have been made for some old account service
Heidi N(*): It is on the current bill, not the end of last year
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, I understand your concern, your initial purchase of the McAfee product under the e-mail address hn(*) is from online store. You need to contact online store to get refund for the renewal charges under your old account.
Heidi N(*): ok.
Heidi N(*): Please stay with me while I check what you say by calling
Heidi N(*): I am timing the response.
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, please take your time.
Brad Ju(*): Heidi, I have not received a response from you in the last two minutes, in order to provide maximum assistance to all our other customers, we will be unable to continue this chat if I don’t receive a response within the next two minutes.
Heidi N(*): They do not have access to my online renewal. You have given me inaccurate advice.
Brad Ju(*): Please give me a moment to research your issue. Thank you for your patience.
Heidi N(*): They gave me the number of 408-992-8xxx
Heidi N(*): They are closed, and directed me to the website.
Heidi N(*): Perfect catch-22. Congratulations. I’ll be posting this script on my blog.
Brad Ju(*): I do understand your frustration. I will be helping you in the best possible way.
Heidi N(*): Is there someone who has more authority there to help in a slightly better way?
Brad Ju(*): Under these circumstance, I am processing you refund for the recent renewal under your account hn(*).
Brad Ju(*): Please give me a moment while I process your refund. I appreciate your patience.
Brad Ju(*): As requested, we have refunded the McAfee Always on Protection charges of $39.99, which will be credited to your account within 3 – 5 working days, or before you receive your next credit card statement. Your reference number will be CS23xxxxxxx.
Heidi N(*): Will there be any further charges on that card?
Brad Ju(*): The McAfee Always on Protection feature for your account under the e-mail address hn(*) has been canceled. Your account will no longer be automatically renewed.
Heidi N(*): And my current account under hei(*) will still be maintained through Oct 2007 without further charge, correct?
Heidi N(*): You haven’t canceled that one too, right?
Heidi N(*): I have to make sure I don’t have to contact customer service again
Brad Ju(*): Yes, you have active account under the e-mail address hei(*) till 10/15/2007.
Heidi N(*): To clarify, I want my current account to remain active, but my earlier account to be canceled.
Heidi N(*): YES! Woo-hoo. Thank you.
Heidi N(*): Now my husband can calm down about this.
Heidi N(*): We were about to pull all of your products off our personal and work computers.
Brad Ju(*): I would like to recap what we have been working on today to ensure that you are comfortable with resolution that I have provided. You wanted a refund for the McAfee product that was auto renewed under your old account; I have refunded it, and cancelled your auto renewal feature. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Heidi N(*): No. I am glad that (although it took serious effort and time) your mistake has been rectified in part.
Heidi N(*): I don’t really expect anything more. But you might pass this script along.
Heidi N(*): It contains valuable feedback for your company.