Could You Be a Vampire?
I’ve been reading vampire books since I was a kid. I have a pretty extensive collection of all kinds of vampire novels and short stories. For a while I was a member of the Lord Ruthven Society (Raymond McNally told me that “Vee neeeed new bloooood” – how could I resist? May he rest in peace.).
Maybe I should renew my membership. It’s a subgroup of the International Association of the Fantastic in the Arts (IAFA), and they always have a very fun conference. My first paper was presented there. I can’t find their site anymore though. Comment if you know anything.
No doubt the Jehovah’s Witnesses doctrine of refusing blood transfusions – even to save a life – figured in to my curiosity from a very young age. I also couldn’t help noticing that most JWs do not partake of the emblems of communion at the “Memorial Dinner.” I always thought that their interpretations of the scriptures that talk about abstaining from blood (the blood being the life) were somehow off-kilter. I mean, it’s not like they eat their meat kosher. I remember that for a while we weren’t allowed to eat Milky Way bars because there was a rumor that they used blood products as an emulsifier. I still don’t know if that’s true or not.
It was while I was alternately reading Anne Rice and Karl Barth that I got my first inkling of what a large part of my dissertation would involve. My favorite chapter is the one I wrote about the viral as it appears in fictional narratives of vampirism/communion. I am even (very painfully) working on a vampire novel.
Still, for all this, I’m not a “goth” and I look terrible in black lipstick anyway. The only vampires I’ve ever met were of the psychic-draining variety – people who just exhaust you. I’ve never participated in any of the games or groups. However, I did recently get “turned” at Facebook and am using the Facebook application of vampires, zombies and werewolves. (Join me if you’re on.)
I only attack my friends… it’s a love bite! Share your soul, but only if you wish it. I won’t drain you dry…
(rolling villainous laughter – ah – hahahahah – haha – ahahahahahahaha – ah-hahaha – ha- hah ack-snort…. ~cough~).
The allure of vampires for me is still somewhat mysterious.
Vampires are overdetermined in meaning. So many possible interpretations intersect at the figure of the vampire that – no matter how trivialized they become – there is always a hint of the numinous about them, too.
So – would I really like being a vampire?
Maybe, if it were like the Chelsea Quinn Yarbro vampire that needs only enough to fill a wineglass, and gives back love – and lust, and respect, and generosity – for this bit of life.
On the other hand, you just can’t get away from the blood. Raw blood. Ick.
It’s why I’ve always preferred vampire books to movies; in the imaginary realm, it’s less tactile. You don’t really have to visualize the actual “thing in itself.” Films make it too real, too bloody and cannibalistic.
A blood-drinking thing is like an ancient god living on sacrifices – it’s a power trip. To me, that can never truly be sexy.
Also, the current crop of (literary) vampires is far too group/sect oriented, like political poppets. What good is eternal life if you’re always squabbling about territory or ethnicity or some such?
When I saw this quiz in my inbox, I went to take it right away. The results are about what I’d expect – I could if I had to…
| You Could Be a Vampire… If You Had To |
 Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you’re not sure if you’d do it, even if you could. Living forever doesn’t sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most. But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you? It’s all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low. What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth |